Tuesday, December 3, 2013
How you came so quickly into our lives.....
....and will go just as quick.
So November *as with the last few months* has been productive, and busy and full of stuff and things and flown by with such a flurry it has been hard to keep up. Wwe are busy trying to make the house a home and getting accustomed to Oour living situation. Which is always a fun discovery if I do say so myself.
Wwe spent a week or so visiting my family for Thanksgiving and stuffed Oourselves full of Fuds and the frustration *more than normal I must say* that went along with such a long roadtrip. (There is a certain car rental company Wwe shall never again use....Never..AGAIN!) *lol* It was good to see Family and Friends and even relax a bit before coming back North. And even the Snowy trip both ways was welcomed and even slightly pretty in spots. (Even if some drivers are loco)
I hope everyone else has spent time being Thankful and loving eachother, not berzerker-ing people for sale deals and and I hope the Holiday spirit continues to bring bountiful pleasures to all.
XxX
Lexy
Saturday, November 16, 2013
I've been a busy lil B
...Well I have!
My transition 'up north' has been steady and now I am here and we are moving forward with , yanno paperwork stuff and all those lil clean up and 'i' dotting's that need to be done as a move settles down :3
I must say the move went smoother then my worry had 'thought' - and that's good :3
I forgot how much I miss the little things *or how big they are to me* when I am not around. The sound of someone else asleep in the house. Making coffee in the morning. The smell of a freshly showered 'Hun'. *lol* And even the driving around and scenery is very cathardic.
Medically speaking things are progressing. I will be starting Physical Therapy , again, this week and am hopeful it will be a big step to large changes. :3
All in all...
Happy Dance!
XxX
Lexy
My transition 'up north' has been steady and now I am here and we are moving forward with , yanno paperwork stuff and all those lil clean up and 'i' dotting's that need to be done as a move settles down :3
I must say the move went smoother then my worry had 'thought' - and that's good :3
I forgot how much I miss the little things *or how big they are to me* when I am not around. The sound of someone else asleep in the house. Making coffee in the morning. The smell of a freshly showered 'Hun'. *lol* And even the driving around and scenery is very cathardic.
Medically speaking things are progressing. I will be starting Physical Therapy , again, this week and am hopeful it will be a big step to large changes. :3
All in all...
Happy Dance!
XxX
Lexy
Friday, October 18, 2013
Lunacy, Love and Autumn
Tonight is a Penumbral Luna Eclipse , meaning that the full moon will be only partially shadow'd . Should be very pretty and my first eclipse up "North" *lol* with The Hun. Does this mean people will only be Partially Psycho?? MSN Info on the Eclipse
Autumn is here, which was very apparent in my 6+ Hour *thanks to my GpS* Drive up to The Huns'. It was nice to see the change from predominant Yellows to Oranges and Reds , and fog..lots of fog and mountains again. I am having some narsty *yeah that's a word* allergy issues and cannot figure out where they are coming from. But hopefully my Dr will fax me some stuff to make it tolerable till I do. It is nice to be back, I feel much calmer here. And it feels good to get back into a routine. :)
(And the snuggles helps alot)
Got a link from "Sugar Bottom" today that I wanted to share so we can all snuggle it and love it and learn from it and be like *in unison* THANK YOU SUGAR BOTTOM!
Sweet Survival Tips for Super Sensitive Souls
She is always sendin me lil clippies of things like that, that make me go *think think think * and D'aww. :)
Enough of this sillyness! *lol* Need to get back to doing what I was doing.
XxX
Lexy
Autumn is here, which was very apparent in my 6+ Hour *thanks to my GpS* Drive up to The Huns'. It was nice to see the change from predominant Yellows to Oranges and Reds , and fog..lots of fog and mountains again. I am having some narsty *yeah that's a word* allergy issues and cannot figure out where they are coming from. But hopefully my Dr will fax me some stuff to make it tolerable till I do. It is nice to be back, I feel much calmer here. And it feels good to get back into a routine. :)
(And the snuggles helps alot)
Got a link from "Sugar Bottom" today that I wanted to share so we can all snuggle it and love it and learn from it and be like *in unison* THANK YOU SUGAR BOTTOM!
Sweet Survival Tips for Super Sensitive Souls
She is always sendin me lil clippies of things like that, that make me go *think think think * and D'aww. :)
![]() |
| Ohhh SugahBottom.... 'yeess?' |
![]() |
| TickleTickle 'Eee!' |
XxX
Lexy
Thursday, October 10, 2013
I promised so here are a couple photos
Ok so these made me laugh/think of peeps...
XxX
Lexy
![]() |
| I don't play but the lil cactar thingys are cute. (Fer ewe Tal) |
![]() | |
| The Wall of BWW..or "how the liege looks in my passanger seat." Stawp bein' Chicken. |
XxX
Lexy
Lovin' You is Causin Me to Change...
Yeah that randomness title has nothing and everything to do with this post *Lulz*
It has been a very ....rollercoaster... week thusfar. And here we are THURSDAY again?! Holy balls. Let's see.... I think on the Anxiety Meter this week *and I am counting since oh Monday...* Has been *ding ding ding* Off the Chart! YAY! *blinks un-bemused* Srusly.
Short list? Don't mind if I do. I am currently gathering my shiz together to move which is supposed to be an exciting life altering time in anyone's life yet ...oh Family you love to shove that fork in my garbage disposal of life don't you? *Crazyassmotherfuckerreeaaly?* Breaking news to certain members of my bloodline is liken to approaching the mentally syphilitic deranged liege of some medieval bum-fuck kingdom where the subjects tend to either look the other way or are in utter denial of their royalty's declining mental state and the fact they sometimes run around naked with chickens on their head while screaming the lyrics to game show openings. Annyyywayyyyssss...just setting the scene for you. So...breaking this news you are going in KNOWING that it is not going to go well but I also have this foolish glimmer of hope that someday I will hit on some way of speaking a language which does not illicit a response that is traumatic for all *including bystanders* and is much like an atom bomb going off. --This was an utter failure , btw... --
Accusations flew, Nasty words were said, statements that will stick wounds for a while within myself and I just took that shit like a trooper yes I did. Though not lying down, which is something that sets me aside from those in the kingdom who enjoy looking the other way. I ...am not blessed with this 'gift' of ignorance. So I handled the situation to the best of my ability then like any war worn hero , trodded back to my lil fortress of solitude and....
....had a mental eff'ing breakdown. Cuz godamnit I needed one. And with that done and my body and mind in a worn state I closed that day ....Amens.
The next few days flew by with a couple days of veiled phone calls of the sort where they start out cordial but end up with someone *yeah I admit, Me * hanging up once I notify the other people "Yeah not taking your abuse, calm down and call back". -click- *Sidenote: anyone else miss slamming phone receivers down? I do.*
Today was spent doing errands for The Liege of CooCoo Kingdom and end result was aggravating my physical condition till I now need a couple days recoup. I am not letting this get me down though, sure a few things need to be pushed a day or two but all in all I am proud of what I have accomplished on my own lil footsies here.. *Even got my laundry done today, eh eh yeahhh, high five!* and I am sure that once all is done. I will be better off for everything I am going through.
Because as I have always observed and been taught: when something is worth reaching for, you are going to be tested to get it. Makes the achievement all the more satisfying.
On a lil sillier note got some photos to post *if i get off my lazy rump to do so* of some cute shyz I saw in my travels today.
XxX
Lexy
Oh Are you enjoying the new playlist? You are don't lie. You can click the lil circle to shuffle songs. And more will be added. Thank me in your prayers and with large denominations. ~_^ v JK.
It has been a very ....rollercoaster... week thusfar. And here we are THURSDAY again?! Holy balls. Let's see.... I think on the Anxiety Meter this week *and I am counting since oh Monday...* Has been *ding ding ding* Off the Chart! YAY! *blinks un-bemused* Srusly.
Short list? Don't mind if I do. I am currently gathering my shiz together to move which is supposed to be an exciting life altering time in anyone's life yet ...oh Family you love to shove that fork in my garbage disposal of life don't you? *Crazyassmotherfuckerreeaaly?* Breaking news to certain members of my bloodline is liken to approaching the mentally syphilitic deranged liege of some medieval bum-fuck kingdom where the subjects tend to either look the other way or are in utter denial of their royalty's declining mental state and the fact they sometimes run around naked with chickens on their head while screaming the lyrics to game show openings. Annyyywayyyyssss...just setting the scene for you. So...breaking this news you are going in KNOWING that it is not going to go well but I also have this foolish glimmer of hope that someday I will hit on some way of speaking a language which does not illicit a response that is traumatic for all *including bystanders* and is much like an atom bomb going off. --This was an utter failure , btw... --
Accusations flew, Nasty words were said, statements that will stick wounds for a while within myself and I just took that shit like a trooper yes I did. Though not lying down, which is something that sets me aside from those in the kingdom who enjoy looking the other way. I ...am not blessed with this 'gift' of ignorance. So I handled the situation to the best of my ability then like any war worn hero , trodded back to my lil fortress of solitude and....
....had a mental eff'ing breakdown. Cuz godamnit I needed one. And with that done and my body and mind in a worn state I closed that day ....Amens.
The next few days flew by with a couple days of veiled phone calls of the sort where they start out cordial but end up with someone *yeah I admit, Me * hanging up once I notify the other people "Yeah not taking your abuse, calm down and call back". -click- *Sidenote: anyone else miss slamming phone receivers down? I do.*
Today was spent doing errands for The Liege of CooCoo Kingdom and end result was aggravating my physical condition till I now need a couple days recoup. I am not letting this get me down though, sure a few things need to be pushed a day or two but all in all I am proud of what I have accomplished on my own lil footsies here.. *Even got my laundry done today, eh eh yeahhh, high five!* and I am sure that once all is done. I will be better off for everything I am going through.
Because as I have always observed and been taught: when something is worth reaching for, you are going to be tested to get it. Makes the achievement all the more satisfying.
On a lil sillier note got some photos to post *if i get off my lazy rump to do so* of some cute shyz I saw in my travels today.
XxX
Lexy
Oh Are you enjoying the new playlist? You are don't lie. You can click the lil circle to shuffle songs. And more will be added. Thank me in your prayers and with large denominations. ~_^ v JK.
Labels:
Anxiety,
blogging,
Depression,
Funny,
Liege,
Live,
Mental Illness,
moving,
Music,
overwhelmed,
passion,
PTSD
Monday, October 7, 2013
*grumble grumbles* Mooph!
It is really tough being positive when you are just having a no good , very bad, rotten couple of weeks with your conditions and then BAM air so thick you can bathe in it decides to move in. Seriously?
I have a laundry list *including laundry* of things to get done this week and my body/conditions are just working against me. Which is disheartening. During a time which I should be excited and happy and embarking on this new path on my journey , I am stressed and kinda wanna crawl into bed and point at stuff and be like " I'm dones, Ya'll pack please...wake me when done".
The next few days are going to be uber stressful, I know this. And I'd be able to handle it better if I wasn't feeling like -Pewp- , I need to 'Woman Up' and just Carry on.
End of random pity party. Blaaahhh.
XxX
Lexy
![]() |
| -Mooph.- |
The next few days are going to be uber stressful, I know this. And I'd be able to handle it better if I wasn't feeling like -Pewp- , I need to 'Woman Up' and just Carry on.
End of random pity party. Blaaahhh.
XxX
Lexy
Labels:
Depression,
exhaustion,
Mooph!,
moving,
Muggy,
overwhelmed,
pity party,
PTSD,
Rain
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Without Music, Life is a Mistake.
Who doesn't like a soundtrack to their life ? *or Secondlife/TSW?* Here is a list of music stations for your gaming/land/neurotic Pleasure!
XxX
Lexy
SHOUTCAST SECONDLIFE
MetaVerse Mitsi's Meda List d^_^
http://uplink.duplexfx.com:8030/
The Eagle 181 FM Classic Rock, station identification once an hour. no advertisements otherwise. No kiddie rock, either. No Boy George, Cindi Lauper, Michael Jackson, Madonna et al.
XRM|Alternative| http://66.55.148.27:7014
977 Hits Channel |Hits| http://scfire-ntc-aa06.stream.aol.com:80/stream/10 74
Rap|Stream| http://scfire-mtc-aa03.stream.aol.com:80/stream/10 71
Hitz Radio|Various|http://205.188.215.225:8014
Garage|stream|http://cherry.neostreams.info:10770
Psyradio.fm|Progressive|http://81.88.36.42:8010/
Philosomatika 100%|Goa|http://205.188.215.229:8012
Digitally Imported|Trance|http://205.188.215.228:8008/
XTC Radio London|Techno|http://63.241.4.18:8069/
Deep Mix Moscow Radio|Minimal|http://205.196.209.27:8128/
Hard FM|Hardcore|http://192.mp3.streams.lsw.evo.hard.fm:8000/
FearFM|Hardcore|http://85.92.129.232:8005/
Armin van Buuren|Trance|http://87.238.173.133:8008/
NuBreaks|Breaks|http://66.231.176.184:7260/
Nsbr|Breaks|http://83.133.127.32:8904/
SLR2|Various|http://81.169.170.252:11001/
Digital Gunfire|Industrial|http://pc166.chs.chalmers.se:80/
Doomed|Industrial|http://steady.somafm.com:8300
EBM Radio|Industrial|http://198.22.51.42:36715
Tag's Trip|Trance|http://205.188.215.230:8012/
IC|Technobase FM|Techno|http://oggvorbis.tb-stream.net:80/
Musik.Club|Techno|http://205.188.215.229:8026/
MPEGRadio.com|Industrial|http://38.118.158.44:8070/
Space Station Soma|Space|http://steady.somafm.com:8000/
Ill Street Lounge|Lounge|http://steady.somafm.com:8500/
Beat Blender|Deep House|http://steady.somafm.com:8388
SDX's Synthetic Exp|Industrial|http://radio.dawnshadow.se:8000/
DI-Ambient|Ambient|http://205.188.215.228:8006/
DI-Techno|Techno|http://209.225.189.112:8000/
DI-Minimal|Minimal Techno/House|http://160.79.128.61:7244/
DI-Bass|Drum and Bass|http://207.200.96.229:8030/
DI-DJ Mixes|DJ Mixes|http://209.247.146.100:8000/
RC Classical|Classic|http://82.197.165.137:80
RC Opera|Classic|http://82.197.167.139:80
Otto's Classical Musick|Classic|http://64.62.252.130:9030/
Otto's Opera House|Classic|http://64.71.184.99:9020/
AVRO Klassiek Baroque|Classic|http://145.58.33.31:8068/
Roots Reggae (Sky FM )|Reggae|http://205.188.215.225:8000/
Cool FM|Pop|http://80.126.79.130:8000
Hot Mix Radio|Various|http://88.191.13.53:1755/
Drone Zone|Various|http://207.200.96.231:8010/
Hitz Radio|Various|http://205.188.215.225:8014/
Starlight Radio|Pop|http://83.96.137.190:8290/
Golden Radio Italia|80s|http://87.117.203.226:8008/
80's Channel|80's|http://205.188.215.229:8004/
SkyFM|Romantic|http://160.79.128.61:7834/
SlowRadio|Romantic Songs|http://217.20.112.139:14010/
HBR1.com|Trance|http://radio.hbr1.com:19800/tronic.ogg
DeSi-RaDiO.com|Indian|http://67.159.30.133:80/
Chinese Classical Music|Chinese|http://72.9.152.74:8202/
Radio.Yarin.fr|Arabic|http://92.243.9.121:8000/
NERadio International|Various|http://87.98.145.139:80/
NERadio Sweden|Various|http://90.225.79.249:8000/
CRC Hard Rocking 80's|Hard Rock|http://204.9.117.194:8112/
ChroniX Aggression|Hard Rock|http://205.188.215.225:8010/
1: TurboDJ Radio = http://67.212.188.91:80
2: SkyFM 80s = http://207.200.96.230:8000
3: Top Hits = http://64.74.207.40:8628
4: Da Boom Radio = http://72.20.11.51:8000
5: .977 Hitz = http://scfire-ntc-aa01.stream.aol.com:80/stream/10 74
6: .977 80's = http://scfire-ntc-aa02.stream.aol.com:80/stream/10 40
7: Hot 108 Jamz = http://205.188.215.229:8040
8: Digitally Imported = http://205.188.215.228:8008
9: Sky.FM = http://207.200.96.230:8002
10: Idobi Radio = http://67.159.5.35:80
11: 181.FM Classic Hits = http://207.200.96.227:8008
12: 181.FM The Buzz = http://205.188.215.229:8002
13: Soft'n'Easy Radio = http://212.72.186.18:8180
14: .977 - Top 40 Pop/Rock = http://205.188.215.230:8002
15: HitzRadio = http://205.188.215.225:8014
16: Chillout Tunes = http://207.200.96.232:8006
17: DigitalGunfire = http://129.16.159.166:8000
18: Magic Radio - 80s = http://194.117.194.66:8100
19: 1.FM - 80s = http://216.218.159.151:8095
20: 1.FM - Blues = http://64.62.252.130:8030
21: SKY.FM - Classic Rock = http://205.188.215.232:8012
22: Happyday - Classical = http://222.122.131.95:8000
23: 1.FM - Dance = http://64.71.145.130:8050
24: Frequence3 = http://194.158.114.66:8000
25: SwissGroove - Funky Jazz = http://82.197.167.135:80
26: Hardcoreradio = http://81.18.160.115:8000
27: Magnatune (classic) = http://64.62.148.12:8000
28: Magnatune(new age) = http://64.62.148.12:8006
29: Staad den Haag = http://213.132.182.120:80
30: SKY.FM - Jazz = http://64.74.207.40:8042
31: WASP = http://204.9.116.234:8000
32: The Edge Rocks = http://67.43.161.248:6001
33: SKY.FM - New Age = http://160.79.128.40:7674
34: .977 - Oldies = http://207.200.96.231:8018
35: SwissRadio - Opera = http://82.197.165.137:80
36: Bigupradio - Reggae = http://69.22.167.170:8000
37: African Music Radio = http://85.25.142.53:8100
38: Etherbeat = http://64.72.124.36:8002
39: TurnUpTheSka - Ska = http://64.20.36.156:8000
40: BigUpRadio = http://69.22.167.170:8017
XxX
Lexy
SHOUTCAST SECONDLIFE
MetaVerse Mitsi's Meda List d^_^
http://uplink.duplexfx.com:8030/
The Eagle 181 FM Classic Rock, station identification once an hour. no advertisements otherwise. No kiddie rock, either. No Boy George, Cindi Lauper, Michael Jackson, Madonna et al.
XRM|Alternative| http://66.55.148.27:7014
977 Hits Channel |Hits| http://scfire-ntc-aa06.stream.aol.com:80/stream/10
Rap|Stream| http://scfire-mtc-aa03.stream.aol.com:80/stream/10
Hitz Radio|Various|http://205.188.215.225:8014
Garage|stream|http://cherry.neostreams.info:10770
Psyradio.fm|Progressive|http://81.88.36.42:8010/
Philosomatika 100%|Goa|http://205.188.215.229:8012
Digitally Imported|Trance|http://205.188.215.228:8008/
XTC Radio London|Techno|http://63.241.4.18:8069/
Deep Mix Moscow Radio|Minimal|http://205.196.209.27:8128/
Hard FM|Hardcore|http://192.mp3.streams.lsw.evo.hard.fm:8000/
FearFM|Hardcore|http://85.92.129.232:8005/
Armin van Buuren|Trance|http://87.238.173.133:8008/
NuBreaks|Breaks|http://66.231.176.184:7260/
Nsbr|Breaks|http://83.133.127.32:8904/
SLR2|Various|http://81.169.170.252:11001/
Digital Gunfire|Industrial|http://pc166.chs.chalmers.se:80/
Doomed|Industrial|http://steady.somafm.com:8300
EBM Radio|Industrial|http://198.22.51.42:36715
Tag's Trip|Trance|http://205.188.215.230:8012/
IC|Technobase FM|Techno|http://oggvorbis.tb-stream.net:80/
Musik.Club|Techno|http://205.188.215.229:8026/
MPEGRadio.com|Industrial|http://38.118.158.44:8070/
Space Station Soma|Space|http://steady.somafm.com:8000/
Ill Street Lounge|Lounge|http://steady.somafm.com:8500/
Beat Blender|Deep House|http://steady.somafm.com:8388
SDX's Synthetic Exp|Industrial|http://radio.dawnshadow.se:8000/
DI-Ambient|Ambient|http://205.188.215.228:8006/
DI-Techno|Techno|http://209.225.189.112:8000/
DI-Minimal|Minimal Techno/House|http://160.79.128.61:7244/
DI-Bass|Drum and Bass|http://207.200.96.229:8030/
DI-DJ Mixes|DJ Mixes|http://209.247.146.100:8000/
RC Classical|Classic|http://82.197.165.137:80
RC Opera|Classic|http://82.197.167.139:80
Otto's Classical Musick|Classic|http://64.62.252.130:9030/
Otto's Opera House|Classic|http://64.71.184.99:9020/
AVRO Klassiek Baroque|Classic|http://145.58.33.31:8068/
Roots Reggae (Sky FM )|Reggae|http://205.188.215.225:8000/
Cool FM|Pop|http://80.126.79.130:8000
Hot Mix Radio|Various|http://88.191.13.53:1755/
Drone Zone|Various|http://207.200.96.231:8010/
Hitz Radio|Various|http://205.188.215.225:8014/
Starlight Radio|Pop|http://83.96.137.190:8290/
Golden Radio Italia|80s|http://87.117.203.226:8008/
80's Channel|80's|http://205.188.215.229:8004/
SkyFM|Romantic|http://160.79.128.61:7834/
SlowRadio|Romantic Songs|http://217.20.112.139:14010/
HBR1.com|Trance|http://radio.hbr1.com:19800/tronic.ogg
DeSi-RaDiO.com|Indian|http://67.159.30.133:80/
Chinese Classical Music|Chinese|http://72.9.152.74:8202/
Radio.Yarin.fr|Arabic|http://92.243.9.121:8000/
NERadio International|Various|http://87.98.145.139:80/
NERadio Sweden|Various|http://90.225.79.249:8000/
CRC Hard Rocking 80's|Hard Rock|http://204.9.117.194:8112/
ChroniX Aggression|Hard Rock|http://205.188.215.225:8010/
1: TurboDJ Radio = http://67.212.188.91:80
2: SkyFM 80s = http://207.200.96.230:8000
3: Top Hits = http://64.74.207.40:8628
4: Da Boom Radio = http://72.20.11.51:8000
5: .977 Hitz = http://scfire-ntc-aa01.stream.aol.com:80/stream/10
6: .977 80's = http://scfire-ntc-aa02.stream.aol.com:80/stream/10
7: Hot 108 Jamz = http://205.188.215.229:8040
8: Digitally Imported = http://205.188.215.228:8008
9: Sky.FM = http://207.200.96.230:8002
10: Idobi Radio = http://67.159.5.35:80
11: 181.FM Classic Hits = http://207.200.96.227:8008
12: 181.FM The Buzz = http://205.188.215.229:8002
13: Soft'n'Easy Radio = http://212.72.186.18:8180
14: .977 - Top 40 Pop/Rock = http://205.188.215.230:8002
15: HitzRadio = http://205.188.215.225:8014
16: Chillout Tunes = http://207.200.96.232:8006
17: DigitalGunfire = http://129.16.159.166:8000
18: Magic Radio - 80s = http://194.117.194.66:8100
19: 1.FM - 80s = http://216.218.159.151:8095
20: 1.FM - Blues = http://64.62.252.130:8030
21: SKY.FM - Classic Rock = http://205.188.215.232:8012
22: Happyday - Classical = http://222.122.131.95:8000
23: 1.FM - Dance = http://64.71.145.130:8050
24: Frequence3 = http://194.158.114.66:8000
25: SwissGroove - Funky Jazz = http://82.197.167.135:80
26: Hardcoreradio = http://81.18.160.115:8000
27: Magnatune (classic) = http://64.62.148.12:8000
28: Magnatune(new age) = http://64.62.148.12:8006
29: Staad den Haag = http://213.132.182.120:80
30: SKY.FM - Jazz = http://64.74.207.40:8042
31: WASP = http://204.9.116.234:8000
32: The Edge Rocks = http://67.43.161.248:6001
33: SKY.FM - New Age = http://160.79.128.40:7674
34: .977 - Oldies = http://207.200.96.231:8018
35: SwissRadio - Opera = http://82.197.165.137:80
36: Bigupradio - Reggae = http://69.22.167.170:8000
37: African Music Radio = http://85.25.142.53:8100
38: Etherbeat = http://64.72.124.36:8002
39: TurnUpTheSka - Ska = http://64.20.36.156:8000
40: BigUpRadio = http://69.22.167.170:8017
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
What We Don't Need...
Was perusing a year old entry and totally forgot I scribbled this in my FLJournal.... still holds true today..
XxX
Lexy
XxX
Lexy
What We Don't Need....
Journal Entry
| Loves It
|
This is what you don’t need:
• The belief that you are not good enough.
• Fear. ( Up until this very point in your life - EVERYTHING has come EXACTLY as it should have... and will continue to do so. You are still breathing. Have some faith in that and carry on.)
• The lie you have been telling yourself for years and years. (Mine: I am a pain in the ass and not significant/easily replaceable).
• Excuses. ( Own your personal responsibility )
• Thoughts that include: should, should have, shouldn’t have, should be, etc.
• Comparison and judgment in all forms. ( Let's not forget SELF judgment/ Comparison too!!)
• The past (cause it’s gone for good).
• The future (I have been vigorously chasing the myth of others expectations and society for 32 years. It’s exhausting, don't need it..bai bai to that too).
• Attachment. ( Nothing is truly OWNed is it? )
• Your analyzing mind.
• Self-doubt. ( This is a tough one)
• Resentment or anger. ( Toughie also)
• Tension.
• The need to know. (This is HUGE for me...I always seem to mix up the WANT for a reason and the NEED...I don't NEED to know...I WANT to know...)
• The need to be right. (...again.....so much wasted energy)
• Expectation.
• Worry.
• The belief that you are not good enough.
• Fear. ( Up until this very point in your life - EVERYTHING has come EXACTLY as it should have... and will continue to do so. You are still breathing. Have some faith in that and carry on.)
• The lie you have been telling yourself for years and years. (Mine: I am a pain in the ass and not significant/easily replaceable).
• Excuses. ( Own your personal responsibility )
• Thoughts that include: should, should have, shouldn’t have, should be, etc.
• Comparison and judgment in all forms. ( Let's not forget SELF judgment/ Comparison too!!)
• The past (cause it’s gone for good).
• The future (I have been vigorously chasing the myth of others expectations and society for 32 years. It’s exhausting, don't need it..bai bai to that too).
• Attachment. ( Nothing is truly OWNed is it? )
• Your analyzing mind.
• Self-doubt. ( This is a tough one)
• Resentment or anger. ( Toughie also)
• Tension.
• The need to know. (This is HUGE for me...I always seem to mix up the WANT for a reason and the NEED...I don't NEED to know...I WANT to know...)
• The need to be right. (...again.....so much wasted energy)
• Expectation.
• Worry.
Friday, September 27, 2013
I got the D! (NOT What YOU think!)
Depression!
*told you it wasn't what you thought* Anxiety. Borderline Personality Disorder...it goes on...but we will just lump it into I'm Mental :)
It is nothing I try to actively deny, mind you, but not something I shout from the rooftops. It isn't that I am ashamed of what I live with, it is more tiresome and exhausting *borderline frustrating* to try to get someone who isn't living this way to not really UNDERSTAND but to ??Learn?? Empathize?? I guess? I do not wish living with ANY sort of mental "illness" to anyone, it's downright frustrating ..so I also do not expect people who do not to understand how I am feeling at any moment ( I don't understand how it is to live without a limb..people do it...I can't understand it...Bless them for being strong to do it... but I do not KNOW what they are going through!) and I do not expect them to try.
What I DO expect is a respect for the way I need to do things to function. I expect that I am going to do MY best on even the hardest of days to function and I expect a lil mental acknowledgement that "hey she is trying...I am not going to bust her ass every second cuz she isn't on MY level..." and I respectfully try to keep up with those I am around. Most of the time, with disclaimer as to how I am feeling that day.
I also expect to be taught information in a way that is not only respectful but without "preaching" or "demanding" that I follow it immediately without letting it soak in first. I haven't lived as long as I have , with what I do and You are not going to TELL me "Well I think You need to go to this new Therapy I saw ..It is going to work...BAM go.".... Have you ever put a cat on a leash? Yeah it's like that. Immobility. Show me what you have found, tell me how you FEEL about the treatment/med/activity, how you think it may help me, let me choose to go, offer support...and 99% of the time... I am SOOOOO on that train!
Ok so What brought me here? Well.. I found this ADORIBLE post on my FB and ...it summed things up so well. There is not even one I disagree with ..I hope you enjoy it as much as I did....
comics-that-capture-the-frustrations-of-depression
I am sure this is not the first time I will talk about my Mentalness .... soooo I will just end my ramblies here cuz...well that is how my superbrain works.
TTFN!
xXx
Lexy
*told you it wasn't what you thought* Anxiety. Borderline Personality Disorder...it goes on...but we will just lump it into I'm Mental :)
It is nothing I try to actively deny, mind you, but not something I shout from the rooftops. It isn't that I am ashamed of what I live with, it is more tiresome and exhausting *borderline frustrating* to try to get someone who isn't living this way to not really UNDERSTAND but to ??Learn?? Empathize?? I guess? I do not wish living with ANY sort of mental "illness" to anyone, it's downright frustrating ..so I also do not expect people who do not to understand how I am feeling at any moment ( I don't understand how it is to live without a limb..people do it...I can't understand it...Bless them for being strong to do it... but I do not KNOW what they are going through!) and I do not expect them to try.
What I DO expect is a respect for the way I need to do things to function. I expect that I am going to do MY best on even the hardest of days to function and I expect a lil mental acknowledgement that "hey she is trying...I am not going to bust her ass every second cuz she isn't on MY level..." and I respectfully try to keep up with those I am around. Most of the time, with disclaimer as to how I am feeling that day.
I also expect to be taught information in a way that is not only respectful but without "preaching" or "demanding" that I follow it immediately without letting it soak in first. I haven't lived as long as I have , with what I do and You are not going to TELL me "Well I think You need to go to this new Therapy I saw ..It is going to work...BAM go.".... Have you ever put a cat on a leash? Yeah it's like that. Immobility. Show me what you have found, tell me how you FEEL about the treatment/med/activity, how you think it may help me, let me choose to go, offer support...and 99% of the time... I am SOOOOO on that train!
Ok so What brought me here? Well.. I found this ADORIBLE post on my FB and ...it summed things up so well. There is not even one I disagree with ..I hope you enjoy it as much as I did....
comics-that-capture-the-frustrations-of-depression
![]() |
| This was SOOO Me this MORNING!! |
I am sure this is not the first time I will talk about my Mentalness .... soooo I will just end my ramblies here cuz...well that is how my superbrain works.
TTFN!
xXx
Lexy
Labels:
Anxiety,
Depression,
Funny,
Laugh,
Live,
Mental Illness,
PTSD,
Survive,
Thrive
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
I do all my voodoo in polkadots....
..don't we all?
Well today I am going to be all "ooh new swaggy!" and show off a cute outfit made from pieces sold by creator Anca.knave of .::: MC FASHION :::.
May I just say for the record I had never enjoyed the adorable sweetness of MC Fashion till one of my groups flashed an hunt and I had just happened to stumbled upon this gem of a store. The prices are amazing *even MORE SO , right now , as the entire store is around 25L$ for Women and Mens Fashion is 10L$ * Everything from dresses to shoes , System to mesh are on display with some of the most unique textures I have seen in a long time. I haven't found an outfit or item yet that I haven't been happy with or that hasn't been able to be pulled into another outfit in my collection. I really suggest you stop by for a look.
The Focus items in these shots are the Abrianna-Black-Polka-Dots Shoes which comes in a variety of colors that go with just about ANYTHING!!! Paired with their Petunia-Lady-Coat-Grey , also comes in a variety of colors, can be worn alone *as a dress* or with jeans/skirts/shorts still looks amazing!
And at a price of 50L$ total who can say NO?!
Ok enough fawning.
XxX
Lexy
Well today I am going to be all "ooh new swaggy!" and show off a cute outfit made from pieces sold by creator Anca.knave of .::: MC FASHION :::.
May I just say for the record I had never enjoyed the adorable sweetness of MC Fashion till one of my groups flashed an hunt and I had just happened to stumbled upon this gem of a store. The prices are amazing *even MORE SO , right now , as the entire store is around 25L$ for Women and Mens Fashion is 10L$ * Everything from dresses to shoes , System to mesh are on display with some of the most unique textures I have seen in a long time. I haven't found an outfit or item yet that I haven't been happy with or that hasn't been able to be pulled into another outfit in my collection. I really suggest you stop by for a look.
The Focus items in these shots are the Abrianna-Black-Polka-Dots Shoes which comes in a variety of colors that go with just about ANYTHING!!! Paired with their Petunia-Lady-Coat-Grey , also comes in a variety of colors, can be worn alone *as a dress* or with jeans/skirts/shorts still looks amazing!
And at a price of 50L$ total who can say NO?!
Ok enough fawning.
XxX
Lexy
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Look At You all Up in my Kool-Aid....
So Yesterday I Bombed in making an entry , and while I am not going to post any excuse for it... I will say this...
"didn't wanna".
Real simply put, I didn't have the heart to type anything out. Kinda felt like Shyt, aaannnnnd so I didn't.
Almost didn't tonight either because it seems to me that EVERYONE had a rather BAD Monday and honestly I was pretty taken aback by my own craptastic moment. But figured since Sunday I didn't write anything, I really should today for Monday and well if you are still reading this...KUDOS.
What baffles me is that the common thread of everyone's bad day seemed to involve the internet in some way or another. What I cannot wrap my mind around is this strange disassociation some get while on the internet that leads to hurting others. Do we log in to forums, chat houses, messenger programs or even gaming experiences and our humanity just fly out the door the moment we type our passwords? What does it say about us as a person or society that we can so easily forget *or choose to forget* that each representation on the internet is, in fact, the creation of, or has behind it the feelings, emotions, and purposes of a human being? Not to forget that also those human beings are diverse creatures whom, if you were to be face to face with- I am SURE a good 97% of the Internet Populous would NOT act the way they do behind the anonymity of said internet connection be it common sense, compassion or downright concern of personal well-being. People should not ACT the way they do online, but...time and again they do.
Be it callous comments on someones creation, or a conversation between long distance friends that turns sour and downright cruel. Time and again these are common place and makes me a bit sick on the inside. How people can take advantage of and walk all over the feelings of others is beyond me in 1.0 (Real Life) but when its 2.0 (Virtual Life Interactions) I have to step back and wonder.... Lord of the Flies moment much?
So to everyone who had a nasty Monday....
It's over... and Here is to a better day today. I hope that we all take a moment to find the good in 2.0 as well as our Real lives. And try to make life a lil better for each of the lives we touch.
XxX
Lexy
"didn't wanna".
Real simply put, I didn't have the heart to type anything out. Kinda felt like Shyt, aaannnnnd so I didn't.
Almost didn't tonight either because it seems to me that EVERYONE had a rather BAD Monday and honestly I was pretty taken aback by my own craptastic moment. But figured since Sunday I didn't write anything, I really should today for Monday and well if you are still reading this...KUDOS.
What baffles me is that the common thread of everyone's bad day seemed to involve the internet in some way or another. What I cannot wrap my mind around is this strange disassociation some get while on the internet that leads to hurting others. Do we log in to forums, chat houses, messenger programs or even gaming experiences and our humanity just fly out the door the moment we type our passwords? What does it say about us as a person or society that we can so easily forget *or choose to forget* that each representation on the internet is, in fact, the creation of, or has behind it the feelings, emotions, and purposes of a human being? Not to forget that also those human beings are diverse creatures whom, if you were to be face to face with- I am SURE a good 97% of the Internet Populous would NOT act the way they do behind the anonymity of said internet connection be it common sense, compassion or downright concern of personal well-being. People should not ACT the way they do online, but...time and again they do.
Be it callous comments on someones creation, or a conversation between long distance friends that turns sour and downright cruel. Time and again these are common place and makes me a bit sick on the inside. How people can take advantage of and walk all over the feelings of others is beyond me in 1.0 (Real Life) but when its 2.0 (Virtual Life Interactions) I have to step back and wonder.... Lord of the Flies moment much?
So to everyone who had a nasty Monday....
It's over... and Here is to a better day today. I hope that we all take a moment to find the good in 2.0 as well as our Real lives. And try to make life a lil better for each of the lives we touch.
XxX
Lexy
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Never Regret...
..If it's good , It's Wonderful. If it's bad , it's Experience.
So the countdown to moving is still winding down and as it does my anxiety is Through the ROOF.
No matter how many times I change locations in life , be it far or near to my family . Be it closer to where I want to be or further from where I feel is not healthy for me. No matter how many houses, apartments, condos I move in and out of...I never feel competent in the actual act of MOVING. Packing in itself is enough to drive my anxiety disorder into each and every box... should I box by room? By Use? By Donation? By What If? By color? I mean really there are too many options for my Gemini Brain to hold.
At this point my packing and the overwhelming anxiety of it all has put me into the cycle of...
Grab a box with absolute resolution I CAN DO THIS...
...aproach my target and stare at the amount of items to be packed. Brain takes over and....
I will get all done, I always do. And it will make me better for it all. Just need to be sure to keep up on those Lorazopam's and take it one lil box at a time right?
xXx
Lexy
So the countdown to moving is still winding down and as it does my anxiety is Through the ROOF.
No matter how many times I change locations in life , be it far or near to my family . Be it closer to where I want to be or further from where I feel is not healthy for me. No matter how many houses, apartments, condos I move in and out of...I never feel competent in the actual act of MOVING. Packing in itself is enough to drive my anxiety disorder into each and every box... should I box by room? By Use? By Donation? By What If? By color? I mean really there are too many options for my Gemini Brain to hold.
At this point my packing and the overwhelming anxiety of it all has put me into the cycle of...
Grab a box with absolute resolution I CAN DO THIS...
...aproach my target and stare at the amount of items to be packed. Brain takes over and....
![]() | |
| Fuck this...Imma kittah... |
I will get all done, I always do. And it will make me better for it all. Just need to be sure to keep up on those Lorazopam's and take it one lil box at a time right?
xXx
Lexy
Friday, September 20, 2013
FRIIIIDAYYYYYYYYYY
...And if it wasn't for sudden realizations like that, I wouldn't know what freakin' day it was. *lolz*
...no shame in that. Really have all these AWESOME Ideas to blog about yet not the ambition to sit down and write about a single lil one. Sorry mind babies you gonna stay up there in the primordial ooze yet another day. Blame the internet and mindless surfing I have done, or blame the fact that I am MUCH more interested in the new "Event" That Funcom has tossed up into my inbox all haphazardly which has made me even more of an addict then I first was.
At ANY Event... my night is going to pretty much look like all night game-fest of TSW ......
Possible logg into SecondLife to see what the Peeps be up to...
And by that time it should be oh.....Sunday.
XxX
Lexy
![]() | |
| And this has SERIOUSLY been my Day..... |
At ANY Event... my night is going to pretty much look like all night game-fest of TSW ......
![]() | ||
| "Yes...that one" |
XxX
Lexy
Thursday, September 19, 2013
They said I could be anything so I became a Blogger....
...Excellent choice Right?! *waits for the scoffing to stop*
Well it is already Thursday people and lets see what I have in my magic lil box of entertainment type things for you today! (Please contain your excitement , it is positively contagious! ) *lol*
Well first on the list I'd like to direct Second Life Denizens to a sweet lil shop that is a blessing to creators and lovers of kitch and knicknack alike !! -{Mish-Mash}- is the brainchild of resident -Talulah Munro- , 6 year resident and content creator on the grid community we affectionately call Second Life. Her passion for detail as well as eye for the minutia shines in her creations as well as the absolute love she has for her art. Her customer service is second to none and ranks her *in my book* up in the top echelon of Creators whom value their customers satisfaction without watering down their own content creation. From full permission mesh building content creations, to custom jewelry she has a vast array of product all at most reasonable of prices. Definitely worth a check out , check back, and a Arrgh matey! (did ya'll really think I'd forget today is Pirate day? Shsshh)
Onto more "gaming" type newsey stuff... I've been in TSW for the last...*checks clock* 4 hours+ gaining XP and just being generally awesome with "The Hun" type person . And If anyone is up on their current Funcom/TSW news...you know that in the forums you can now vote for your favorite outfits designed by no other than the community of TSW! *Way to go ya'll!* I saw many "didn't make it" into the voting category , outfits...that were DOWNRIGHT AMAZEBALLS! But the ones chosen to make it into the "voting round" status are pretty damn epic in their own rights!! If you are looking for the thread to where to vote...
Make with the clickies! - 10 Male Finalists HERE - and - 10 Female Finalists HERE -
Remember to vote you need to sign in with your FORUM info.
And now it is time for me to dive back into TSW and kills me some Stragoi!!!
Keep Frostie !!
XxX
Lexy
Well it is already Thursday people and lets see what I have in my magic lil box of entertainment type things for you today! (Please contain your excitement , it is positively contagious! ) *lol*
Well first on the list I'd like to direct Second Life Denizens to a sweet lil shop that is a blessing to creators and lovers of kitch and knicknack alike !! -{Mish-Mash}- is the brainchild of resident -Talulah Munro- , 6 year resident and content creator on the grid community we affectionately call Second Life. Her passion for detail as well as eye for the minutia shines in her creations as well as the absolute love she has for her art. Her customer service is second to none and ranks her *in my book* up in the top echelon of Creators whom value their customers satisfaction without watering down their own content creation. From full permission mesh building content creations, to custom jewelry she has a vast array of product all at most reasonable of prices. Definitely worth a check out , check back, and a Arrgh matey! (did ya'll really think I'd forget today is Pirate day? Shsshh)
Onto more "gaming" type newsey stuff... I've been in TSW for the last...*checks clock* 4 hours+ gaining XP and just being generally awesome with "The Hun" type person . And If anyone is up on their current Funcom/TSW news...you know that in the forums you can now vote for your favorite outfits designed by no other than the community of TSW! *Way to go ya'll!* I saw many "didn't make it" into the voting category , outfits...that were DOWNRIGHT AMAZEBALLS! But the ones chosen to make it into the "voting round" status are pretty damn epic in their own rights!! If you are looking for the thread to where to vote...
Make with the clickies! - 10 Male Finalists HERE - and - 10 Female Finalists HERE -
Remember to vote you need to sign in with your FORUM info.
And now it is time for me to dive back into TSW and kills me some Stragoi!!!
Keep Frostie !!
XxX
Lexy
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Play'n all These Games..
My eyebrow is spasming... this is what I get for staying up for many a hour to game game game! My obsession? The Secret World.. I had the pleasure of playing a free weekend of T.S.W a few months back
and was nervous , being a returning 'gamer girl' to the M.M.O Genre.
After one weekend I was HOOKED and couldn't WAIT to play again! (And now
that T.S.W is Buy to Play WHAT A DEAL!)
The Missions are seemingly ENDLESS with new content being released monthly! Your Character/Avatar 'Decks' are Explosive and Addictive to Play - the ability to not only change between "Classes" on whim as you play but rearrange your feats is something that absolutely blows my mind and comes in handy when I get creative (aka Gemini Brain'd *lol* going in many directions at once). The Story-lines for each 'Faction' are (So far I have only touched on 3 in my Journey) AWESOME! The developers writing of cut scenes and game-play does not accuse the player of being 'stupid' or 'childish' at any time! Many cut scenes full of humor and 'up to date real world/realtime' references/humor. And many missions not only needing physical strength or build strength but the ability to research and look outside of the game for answers. So engaging!
The Dev Teams "Event" ideas are absolutely fun and engage the whole community in the action! Weekends *and WEEKS* worth of XP gaining, SP piling, Community Gathering Boss Fights turn TSW into a madhouse of chatter and fun camaraderie that I have not seen in any other MMO.
And for the style fashionistas you are not forgotten. The store has loads of outfits, accessories and pets to enjoy to your hearts content!
I could go on but I would rather point everyone to the Trial on T.S.W's site and let the game speak for itself! A 24 hour trial (At time of this post) will be enough to get you hooked I am sure!
See You In The Secret World! ^_^v
XxX
-Lexy
![]() |
| A quiet night in London |
The Missions are seemingly ENDLESS with new content being released monthly! Your Character/Avatar 'Decks' are Explosive and Addictive to Play - the ability to not only change between "Classes" on whim as you play but rearrange your feats is something that absolutely blows my mind and comes in handy when I get creative (aka Gemini Brain'd *lol* going in many directions at once). The Story-lines for each 'Faction' are (So far I have only touched on 3 in my Journey) AWESOME! The developers writing of cut scenes and game-play does not accuse the player of being 'stupid' or 'childish' at any time! Many cut scenes full of humor and 'up to date real world/realtime' references/humor. And many missions not only needing physical strength or build strength but the ability to research and look outside of the game for answers. So engaging!
![]() |
| Serious need of Taco Delivery in the Scorched Desert |
The Dev Teams "Event" ideas are absolutely fun and engage the whole community in the action! Weekends *and WEEKS* worth of XP gaining, SP piling, Community Gathering Boss Fights turn TSW into a madhouse of chatter and fun camaraderie that I have not seen in any other MMO.
And for the style fashionistas you are not forgotten. The store has loads of outfits, accessories and pets to enjoy to your hearts content!
I could go on but I would rather point everyone to the Trial on T.S.W's site and let the game speak for itself! A 24 hour trial (At time of this post) will be enough to get you hooked I am sure!
See You In The Secret World! ^_^v
XxX
-Lexy
Nothing 'Good' Ever Happens After 2 am....
...well then I guess it is good that it's just an itch before 2 then mmm darlings?
It has been quite some time since I have been in the 'blogging' community and I sit back and ask myself...why have I been slacking for so long? *I also ask myself why penguins do not have bow ties and why ferrets are not part of the armed forces yet but we will, I am sure, cover those topics at a later date* The answer is quite simple, lack of motivation and I have gotten soft...soft n laaazzy. Well ENOUGH is ENOUGH! *ooo Caps that shows emphatic determination!* Here I will post the general musings *get it?* , mysteries and well shiny shit that crosses my daily for your enjoyment.
But for now.....
.........SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
XxX
Yours Unruly;
Lexy
It has been quite some time since I have been in the 'blogging' community and I sit back and ask myself...why have I been slacking for so long? *I also ask myself why penguins do not have bow ties and why ferrets are not part of the armed forces yet but we will, I am sure, cover those topics at a later date* The answer is quite simple, lack of motivation and I have gotten soft...soft n laaazzy. Well ENOUGH is ENOUGH! *ooo Caps that shows emphatic determination!* Here I will post the general musings *get it?* , mysteries and well shiny shit that crosses my daily for your enjoyment.
But for now.....
.........SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
XxX
Yours Unruly;
Lexy
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)





















