I got the D! (NOT What YOU think!)

Depression!
*told you it wasn't what you thought* Anxiety. Borderline Personality Disorder...it goes on...but we will just lump it into I'm Mental :)

It is nothing I try to actively deny, mind you, but not something I shout from the rooftops. It isn't that I am ashamed of what I live with, it is more tiresome and exhausting *borderline frustrating* to try to get someone who isn't living this way to not really UNDERSTAND but to ??Learn?? Empathize?? I guess? I do not wish living with ANY sort of mental "illness" to anyone, it's downright frustrating ..so I also do not expect people who do not to understand how I am feeling at any moment ( I don't understand how it is to live without a limb..people do it...I can't understand it...Bless them for being strong to do it... but I do not KNOW what they are going through!) and I do not expect them to try.

What I DO expect is a respect for the way I need to do things to function. I expect that I am going to do MY best on even the hardest of days to function and I expect a lil mental acknowledgement that "hey she is trying...I am not going to bust her ass every second cuz she isn't on MY level..." and I respectfully try to keep up with those I am around. Most of the time, with disclaimer as to how I am feeling that day.

I also expect to be taught information in a way that is not only respectful but without "preaching" or "demanding" that I follow it immediately without letting it soak in first. I haven't lived as long as I have , with what I do and You are not going to TELL me "Well I think You need to go to this new Therapy I saw ..It is going to work...BAM go.".... Have you ever put a cat on a leash? Yeah it's like that. Immobility. Show me what you have found, tell me how you FEEL about the treatment/med/activity, how you think it may help me, let me choose to go, offer support...and 99% of the time... I am SOOOOO on that train!

Ok so What brought me here? Well.. I found this ADORIBLE post on my FB and ...it summed things up so well. There is not even one I disagree with ..I hope you enjoy it as much as I did....

comics-that-capture-the-frustrations-of-depression
 

This was SOOO Me this MORNING!!

I am sure this is not the first time I will talk about my Mentalness .... soooo I will just end my ramblies here cuz...well that is how my superbrain works.

TTFN!

xXx
Lexy

*Le Sigh*

 

Makes my Heart Melt EVERY Time....

*Le Sigh*

Le Swoon

XxX

Lexy

I do all my voodoo in polkadots....

..don't we all?

Well today I am going to be all "ooh new swaggy!" and show off a cute outfit made from pieces  sold by creator Anca.knave of .::: MC FASHION :::.

May I just say for the record I had never enjoyed the adorable sweetness of MC Fashion till one of my groups flashed an hunt and I had just happened to stumbled upon this gem of  a store. The prices are amazing *even MORE SO , right now , as the entire store is around 25L$ for Women and Mens Fashion is 10L$ * Everything from dresses to shoes , System to mesh are on display with some of the most unique textures I have seen in a long time. I haven't found an outfit or item yet that I haven't been happy with or that hasn't been able to be pulled into another outfit in my collection. I really suggest you stop by for a look.

The Focus items in these shots are the Abrianna-Black-Polka-Dots Shoes which comes in a variety of colors that go with just about ANYTHING!!! Paired with their Petunia-Lady-Coat-Grey , also comes in a variety of colors, can be worn alone *as a dress* or with jeans/skirts/shorts still looks amazing!

And at a price of 50L$ total who can say NO?!

Ok enough fawning.

XxX
Lexy

Look At You all Up in my Kool-Aid....

So Yesterday I Bombed in making an entry , and while I am not going to post any excuse for it... I will say this...
"didn't wanna".
Real simply put, I didn't have the heart to type anything out. Kinda felt like Shyt, aaannnnnd so I didn't.
Almost didn't tonight either because it seems to me that EVERYONE had a rather BAD Monday and honestly I was pretty taken aback by my own craptastic moment. But figured since Sunday I didn't write anything, I really should today for Monday and well if you are still reading this...KUDOS.

What baffles me is that the common thread of everyone's bad day seemed to involve the internet in some way or another. What I cannot wrap my mind around is this strange disassociation some get while on the internet that leads to hurting others. Do we log in to forums, chat houses, messenger programs or even gaming experiences and our humanity just fly out the door the moment we type our passwords? What does it say about us as a person or society that we can so easily forget *or choose to forget* that each representation on the internet is, in fact, the creation of, or has behind it the feelings, emotions, and purposes of a human being? Not to forget that also those human beings are diverse creatures whom, if you were to be face to face with- I am SURE a good 97% of the Internet Populous would NOT act the way they do behind the anonymity of said internet connection be it common sense, compassion or downright concern of personal well-being.  People should not ACT the way they do online, but...time and again they do.

Be it callous comments on someones creation, or a conversation between long distance friends that turns sour and downright cruel. Time and again these are common place and makes me a bit sick on the inside. How people can take advantage of and walk all over the feelings of others is beyond me in 1.0 (Real Life) but when its 2.0 (Virtual Life Interactions) I have to step back and wonder.... Lord of the Flies moment much?

So to everyone who had a nasty Monday....

It's over... and Here is to a better day today. I hope that we all take a moment to find the good in 2.0 as well as our Real lives. And try to make life a lil better for each of the lives we touch.

XxX
Lexy

Never Regret...

..If it's good , It's Wonderful. If it's bad , it's Experience.


So the countdown to moving is still winding down and as it does my anxiety is Through the ROOF.
No matter how many times I change locations in life , be it far or near to my family . Be it closer to where I want to be or further from where I feel is not healthy for me. No matter how many houses, apartments, condos I move in and out of...I never feel competent in the actual act of MOVING.  Packing in itself is enough to drive my anxiety disorder into each and every box... should I box by room? By Use? By Donation? By What If? By color? I mean really there are too many options for my Gemini Brain to hold.

At this point my packing and the overwhelming anxiety of it all has put me into the cycle of...

Grab a box with absolute resolution I CAN DO THIS...

...aproach my target and stare at the amount of items to be packed. Brain takes over and....

Fuck this...Imma kittah...

I will get all done, I always do. And it will make me better for it all. Just need to be sure to keep up on those Lorazopam's and take it one lil box at a time right?

xXx
Lexy

FRIIIIDAYYYYYYYYYY

...And if it wasn't for sudden realizations like that, I wouldn't know what freakin' day it was. *lolz*

And this has SERIOUSLY been my Day.....

...no shame in that. Really have all these AWESOME Ideas to blog about yet not the ambition to sit down and write about a single lil one. Sorry mind babies you gonna stay up there in the primordial ooze yet another day. Blame the internet and mindless surfing I have done, or blame the fact that I am MUCH more interested in the new "Event" That Funcom has tossed up into my inbox all haphazardly which has made me even more of an addict then I first was.

At ANY Event... my night is going to pretty much look like all night game-fest of TSW ......

"Yes...that one"

 Possible logg into SecondLife to see what the Peeps be up to...

 

And by that time it should be oh.....Sunday.

XxX
Lexy

They said I could be anything so I became a Blogger....

...Excellent choice Right?! *waits for the scoffing to stop*

Well it is already Thursday people and lets see what I have in my magic lil box of entertainment type things for you today! (Please contain your excitement , it is positively contagious! ) *lol*

Well first on the list I'd like to direct Second Life Denizens to a sweet lil shop that is a blessing to creators and lovers of kitch and knicknack alike !! -{Mish-Mash}- is the brainchild of resident -Talulah Munro- , 6 year resident and content creator on the grid community we affectionately call Second Life. Her passion for detail as well as eye for the minutia shines in her creations as well as the absolute love she has for her art. Her customer service is second to none and ranks her *in my book* up in the top echelon of Creators whom value their customers satisfaction without watering down their own content creation. From full permission mesh building content creations, to custom jewelry she has a vast array of product all at most reasonable of prices. Definitely worth a check out , check back, and a Arrgh matey! (did ya'll really think I'd forget today is Pirate day? Shsshh)

Onto more "gaming" type newsey stuff... I've been in TSW for the last...*checks clock* 4 hours+ gaining XP and just being generally awesome with "The Hun" type person . And If anyone is up on their current Funcom/TSW news...you know that in the forums you can now vote for your favorite outfits designed by no other than the community of TSW! *Way to go ya'll!* I saw many "didn't make it" into the voting category , outfits...that were DOWNRIGHT AMAZEBALLS! But the ones chosen to make it into the "voting round" status are pretty damn epic in their own rights!! If you are looking for the thread to where to vote...
Make with the clickies! - 10 Male Finalists HERE -  and - 10 Female Finalists HERE - 
Remember to vote you need to sign in with your FORUM info.


And now it is time for me to dive back into TSW and kills me some Stragoi!!!

Keep Frostie !!

XxX
Lexy

Play'n all These Games..

My eyebrow is spasming... this is what I get for staying up for many a hour to game game game! My obsession? The Secret World.. I had the pleasure of playing a free weekend of T.S.W a few months back and was nervous , being a returning 'gamer girl' to the M.M.O Genre. After one weekend I was HOOKED and couldn't WAIT to play again! (And now that T.S.W is Buy to Play WHAT A DEAL!)

A quiet night in London

The Missions are seemingly  ENDLESS with new content being released monthly! Your Character/Avatar 'Decks' are Explosive and Addictive to Play - the ability to not only change between "Classes" on whim as you play but rearrange your feats is something that absolutely blows my mind and comes in handy when I get creative (aka Gemini Brain'd *lol* going in many directions at once). The Story-lines for each 'Faction' are (So far I have only touched on 3 in my Journey) AWESOME! The developers writing of cut scenes and game-play does not accuse the player of being 'stupid' or 'childish' at any time! Many cut scenes full of humor and 'up to date real world/realtime' references/humor. And many missions not only needing physical strength or build strength but the ability to research and look outside of the game for answers. So engaging!

Serious need of Taco Delivery in the Scorched Desert

The Dev Teams "Event" ideas are absolutely fun and engage the whole community in the action! Weekends *and WEEKS* worth of XP gaining, SP piling, Community Gathering Boss Fights turn TSW into a madhouse of chatter and fun camaraderie that I have not seen in any other MMO.

And for the style fashionistas you are not forgotten. The store has loads of outfits, accessories and pets to enjoy to your hearts content!

I could go on but I would rather point everyone to the Trial on T.S.W's site and let the game speak for itself! A 24 hour trial (At time of this post) will be enough to get you hooked I am sure!

See You In The Secret World! ^_^v

XxX

-Lexy 

Nothing 'Good' Ever Happens After 2 am....

...well then I guess it is good that it's just an itch before 2 then mmm darlings?

It has been quite some time since I have been in the 'blogging' community and I sit back and ask myself...why have I been slacking for so long? *I also ask myself why penguins do not have bow ties and why ferrets are not part of the armed forces yet but we will, I am sure, cover those topics at a later date* The answer is quite simple, lack of motivation and I have gotten soft...soft n laaazzy. Well ENOUGH is ENOUGH! *ooo Caps that shows emphatic determination!* Here I will post the general musings *get it?* , mysteries and well shiny shit that crosses my daily for your enjoyment.

But for now.....

.........SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XxX
Yours Unruly;
Lexy